Monday, 27 January 2014

So greatful for the good people in the world!

So tomorrow we will have been back in the hospital for a week. Hayden and I have been in our room for almost 7 days straight with very minimal fights, but lots of laughs! I'm starting to realize this is our temporary reality for the next little while, and that this won't be the last time being admitted in.
Unfortunately due to weather we've had minimal visitors - but my aunt Brenda and cousin Ryan stopped in last week to say hi after his visit with a surgeon. Ryan races horses (rather well might I add), and had a pretty unfortunate accident during a race that broke 2 bones in his write and one in his elbow. I'm crossing my fingers that he doesn't have to have surgery, so he can heal up quicker and get back on the horse.. haha.. well, back on the cart :-)
Hayden has had some pretty horrible sleeps lately. It breaks my heart hearing her cry during her vitals at any time of day, but it's so much worse at night when they have to wake her up to do it! Why does it have to hurt so darn much?? It hurts a normal adult having it done, imagine what it feels like for a 22 month old who has to have it done 5 times a day! She's so puffy because of her drugs and IV that once they are done there's always an indent on her leg or arm :-( I think we have realized that if we bribe her with the right food (goldfish crackers), put on netflix (bubble guppies), and just don't touch her.. she might relax a bit.
So we were told when we came in here that we could be here for a week or two.. of course depending on her blood levels. Everything so far is on the rise! They wanted her neutrophils to be .5 before we can go home, and today they were at .6! So i'm doing some serious finger crossing that tomorrow one of the doctors will come in and say "Take your sweet girl home!".
This coming friday the Mount Forest Patriots start their first play off game, and they are having a benefit night for Hayden too! My heart was so big when I heard they were doing this for her!! I'm so hoping that I can attend too!! My heart has never left Mount Forest, even after all these years. It's so cliche to say, but there's really no place like home. I also know Jon would say the exact same thing about Wallaceburg. You never forget where your roots are, and we are truly lucky enough to be from 2 amazing towns, and got to ended up in one amazing city!
Yesterday Hayden was relaxing in her crib, and I was doing a crossword in people magazine.. when a knock came to the door! I had a heads up that a friend of a friend might be stopping by to say hello, and to wish Hayden well. I opened the door, and in this gentleman's hand was a big gift basket full of Mickey Mouse dolls and Bubble Guppies toys, and as soon as Hayden saw her present she grinned from ear to ear, and let out a giggle that I haven't heard in over a month! To our new friend Andrew.. You have no idea what your kind gesture meant to Hayden. Hearing and seeing how excited she was made both of our day. You are one of the kindest people we have ever had the priviledge to know, and I'm so happy to have had the chance to meet you. Thank you for putting a smile on our beautiful girls face.. and for reminding us that even complete strangers have big hearts too.
So i'm going to end it here.. I said I was going to post a picture of our sweet girl from 3 weeks ago and of her today.. it's amazing how fast the drugs work! We were told the steroid would cause hunger and rage.. and of course lots of puffiness.. and through it all.. she's still pretty perfect to me :-) Oh, and I cut a curl off of her tonight. I don't know what her hair will look like when it starts to grow back in, and after seeing how quickly her hair is coming out.. I needed a keepsake. It's in a sealed envelope, and will be in her baby book as soon as we get home!!
Sweet dream to all.. and please cross your fingers for us that tomorrow night we sleep in our own beds!! Good night! xoxo

Friday, 24 January 2014

Back to the hospital we go!

So on Tuesday morning when Hayden woke up, I noticed she seemed a little more "blah" then normal but figured going through Leukemia treatments she was entitled to have a blah day every now and then. She snuggled on my lap for majority of the morning and didn't want to be put down, so I started to get a feeling that something was up. I checked her temperature and it was 37.1, which is the higest its been at home up until that point. I didn't panic because it wasn't to the point yet where I needed to call our nurse case manager Julie, so I decided that maybe it was that temperature because we were snuggled under her blanket.  I asked her if she wanted to go have a nap, she said yes! So I took her to lay down and about 30 mins later I could still hear her in the monitor, but her breathing was kinda getting quick so I thought i'd go check her temp again, this time it was 37.6 so I tried my hands at paging Julie to see what she thought. Of course, I suck at paging her because it didn't work. So when I called her about 30 mins later she asked me to check her again and her temp was 38.0 - panic was starting to set it.
We were instructed to bring her in to have her checked out. I was so angry because she hadn't even been home for a full week yet, and here we were bringing her back up to the hospital!
As soon as we got here, they immediately put her on 2 antibiotics. When they checked her temp it was 38.3, so there was definitely something going on. They have done numerous tests, an abdominal and chest x-ray, and what they have so far come up with is that she had a common cold. I'm not even kidding - a cold brought us in.  I quarantined that kid to the best of my abilities, and she still caught a cold!! The doctor said she may have still had traces of it when we left last time, but who really knows where she caught it from.  So I have officially jumped ship to team "yay for summer!". This cold and flu season is a real pain in the arse for someone who literally has no immune system!
They also thought that she may have had a UTI, but whatever was in her urine sample has somehow disappeared! She's also extremely backed up, so they have her on a laxative to hopefully get her moving and make her a little less uncomfortable!
All of her blood work came back negative (yay), and none of her culture samples grew anything (yay), so they have to finish the antibiotics because we can go home. Her counts are on the rise too, so they were very happy with how she's doing.  My guess is we will be here all weekend .. boo! But hey, i'm kinda getting used to this place :-)  I actually counted, and we have slept more days in the hospital this year then we have in our own beds.. ugh. Oh well! I'm just going to have to start figuring out a trick to making the hospital couch/bed a little more comfy!
Hayden got her bravery beads today too! Each time kids come in for a treatment of some type, no matter the situation, they can get a bead for a necklace! She officially has 9 beads so far! What a great idea for a keep sake of everything she has to go through! She gets a bead for a poke of a needle, or a round of chemo, or an x-ray.. you get the idea!
Hayden has gained a whole bunch of weight (no number to be exact), and went from being my skinny mini 2 weeks ago, to being my beautiful plump sweetheart! I'm not kidding.. the steroid has made her face very chubby and her belly very round.. and it's only going to get bigger while she's on the steroid (which is only a few more weeks).  She's also pulling her hair out, and continuing to give me daily panic attacks because of it. I don't think i'm ever going to get used to that until it's all out. They said alot of other moms have cut their kids hair off so it can't upset them so much (the mom that is), but I can't do that.. i'd cry the whole time!
She still battles her nurses daily when they check her vitals, she points at her food constantly, has melt downs almost hourly, but she still continues to make me smile from ear to ear. I'm so proud of Hayden for having to deal with all of this, but she's dealing with it all extremely well!
I want to give a huge thank you to a few people..
To my dear friends and family who purchased and are selling bracelets (there are too many people to list here, but you know who you are) for #goteamhayden, to my Sister in law Brianne for organizing the design and sales of t-shirts, to the Mount Forest Patriots executive (especially Michelle Matheson, Patty and Rick Sinnamon, and Pamela Zmija) for having a benefit night for Hayden on Feb 1st as they start their playoff rounds, to Mark and Andrea McGonigle and staff at Fitzrays restaurant in London for having a benefit for Hayden on Feb 16th, to the RBC bank in wallaceburg for setting up a donation jar for Hayden, to all of the people who have donated generously to us, to all of the people who have showered our little girl with the sweetest gifts, to all of the people who have donated blood and got their flu shots so they can be around Hayden safely, to those who have visited us at the hospital and home,  to the constant support and prayers being sent daily for our Miss H.. I know I have thanked you all many times, and will continue to do so throughout this.. but we truly feel blessed to have you all on Hayden's side during this rollercoaster ride, it's only been 2.5 weeks and already we feel extremely blessed, so we thank you all!!  Don't stop praying for this sweet girl.. the power of positive vibes and prayers do wonders for Hayden :-)
I don't have any recent pictures to share with you today, but I promise to have one in the next blog. Maybe I'll do a side by side picture of when I had her in emerge when this all started, to a recent picture of her.. you'll be amazed at what the steroids do to a toddler!!
Have a great night everyone! Thanks for continuing to follow our journey!

Sunday, 19 January 2014

Our little cheesie monster!!

It's been a few days since I've wrote on here, so I'm taking a break from watching the SAG awards to fill you in on our weekend. 
On friday, Hayden had a doctors appt. and all things considered I think it went pretty well! Our doctor wasn't sure if she wanted to do a blood transfusion or not as hayden's hemoglobin was only 82, but I guess because it was close to the weekend she decided to do it so hopefully we wouldn't have any issues.  And so far so good.. well.. kinda.  Earlier in her diagnosis Dr. Zorzi (our oncologist.. and she's amazing!) told us that one of the first medications Hayden was going to be on was Dexamethasone, which is a steroid, and it was going to make her extremely hungry and very VERY irritable. Well, she was right about both! Over the weekend we didn't leave the house, because of course.. i'm a little freaked out about her getting a virus and having us set back in treatment. So, our patience (both hers and ours) ran EXTREMELY thin.  If any of you know Hayden well, you will know that she's not much of an eater, and has a tiny little waist. I can honestly say that after this weekend.. she has probably gained at LEAST 5 lbs from her binge eating. Some might say "Why do you let her eat so much??".. I say if it keeps her happy then it keeps the household happy! And I wish she wanted healthy things! I have tried over and over to give her fruits and veggies, but all the little monster wants is Cheesies and cookies!  I can't say as I blame her.. they're great! But i'm not going to be buying them for a long while.. out of site, out of mind! 
As I said earlier, Hayden's steroid is making her very irritable. One of Hayden's favourite things is her bath time.. but lately she breaths fire when I try putting her in the tub. I know she had a traumatic bath at the hospital, so maybe she's not fully ready to "jump back in" yet. Regardless, she screamed tonight for a good 15 minutes straight.. and if you have ever heard our little monkey scream.. you'd know how ear piercing it was!! I have to constantly remind myself that it's not her doing the screaming.. it's her steroid. Our doctor has promised me that after she's off the steroid she will return to happy Hayden again, and I can't wait! I have to say though, I do love that she wants hugs from us all the time. Hugs are truly the best medicine.. especially the ones that Hayden gives :-) They make those stress headaches go right away!
If you remember, the wednesday before we left to go home Hayden had a lumbar puncture. I asked Dr. Zorzi how it went, and she said that there were no blasts found in it.. which is a good thing! That's not to say that they can't and won't return, but for the time being.. they're not there. Hearing that news made me happy, and made me feel like we got another very small win.. and we will take a win whenever we can get one!
Hayden isn't out of the clear yet, and won't be for quite a long while.. but we again want to thank everyone for the love and support everyone has offered us. I know I say that in most of my blogs, but I will continue to say it over and over again until this horrible road our little girl has to travel on comes to the positive end we hope for!!  We are back at the hospital on Wednesday for her clinic day, so I will write more then.
On a side note.. Hayden's Grandpa Remi got a flu shot this weekend. I don't think he has EVER got one.. but he did it for our little miss H. We sent a picture to grandpa's phone before he went, for some love and encouragement.. I think it helped :-)

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

She's home.. and all is right in the world tonight

Yesterday we were told that it was a good possibility that Hayden was going to get to go home today, but I kept telling myself that because she was having her lumbar puncture done today that likely because of the anesthetic.. she would be staying one more night. I was ok with that. We had already done 10 days, so what was one more night?
So this morning we got up, and Hayden wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything because she was having her procedure done. Try telling a steroid enraged, almost 2 year old diva that she wasn't able to eat or drink. We were all scared for our lives, but miraculously survived! At 12:15pm she got a round of chemo in our room, and then at 1pm we were taken down to the procedure room, and we were back up to our room by 2.
Finally, the monster was fed! I don't think i've ever seen her eat so much. Usually Hayden is a food picker, but lately she wants cheesies, cookies, well.. anything garbage!  Her lunch today consisted of kraft dinner, a hot dog (without the bun), 1.5 large bananas, and a cookie. This might seem like a normal amount for you, but for her.. it's huge!
We were then given the great news.. If Hayden drank what was left in her cup, she could go home. I don't think I've ever pushed fluids down that kids mouth so quickly! Mind you, she gladly drank them. Apparently everytime they change her port from IV to blood transfusion.. to platelets .. to chemo.. they flush the line with a saline, giving her that salty taste in her mouth - therefore drinking LOTS!
So, after the cup was finished.. we got told that we were allowed to finally take our sweet Hayden home.
I've said before that I was nervous and excited about bringing her home, but when it finally came time for us to go.. I was scared out of my tree. I had to learn how to follow medication charts, and we have to carry a binder every where we go in case we're somewhere and fever breaks out.. it's extremely over whelming. I know i'm not the first mom to ever have to go through all of this with a child, but it's still extremely over whelming. I actually sat with our nurse case manager, Julie, and had a big cry. I think I needed it too because the tears just kept flowing. We talked about how I was feeling, and although everyone has asked me and I'm always saying that I'm good.. I guess deep down I really just needed a good cry. I am trying to not be mad at the world for this, and I told Julie that If I could wish the next 2 years away so Hayden could be over and done with this nightmare I would.. and yes, I realize that would be me wishing away a good portion of her toddler-hood.. but I'm pretty sure any mom in this situation would. She told me it was ok to feel how i'm feeling, and that all of my questions and thoughts were completely normal to have. She nailed it on the head when she said "You didn't picture your lives this way. We came barreling in at your family like a mack truck and completely turned your life upside down." Who does picture your life this way? I feel horrible for families that have to go through situations like this.. and now our family is living it. I also told Julie that one of my biggest fears is that people are going to look at Hayden like she's a little different for the next few months, and that it literally breaks my heart. Again, a normal fear all parents have when their kids have to live a little differently then other kids do.
Hayden is practically under quarantine until Feb 5th, which is when her maintenance period will hopefully be over if all goes well. They have told us that they would prefer if people had a flu shot when coming to visit her, and of course proper hand washing is ideal. I've gone a little overboard with the antibacterial soap and hand sanitizer.. surface wipes, and cleaning supplies.. BUT.. I'm glad I did. I feel a little more ok with her being under my watch because of it.
I sat on the couch and watched Hayden eat her dinner tonight, and I had a calmness come over me. I had my little girl home. The first thing she did when she came into the house tonight was run over to her ball that her and daddy kick up and down the hallway, then terrorized her kitchen set she got for christmas, then acknowledged her cute kitties.. then of course was ready to eat :-)
My sister shared a picture of Hayden on facebook tonight, and she wrote that her coming home was a small but important win in her journey.  This is the best win of our life.. so far.  I can hear her in her monitor as I type this, and my heart is full. Thank you everyone for your continued prayers, love and support. I truly believe it's helping our little Hayden. xo

Monday, 13 January 2014

Lazy day but crazy day!

I didn't have much to write about yesterday, and still today there's not much to report.
Hayden is still taking her medication like a champ. We were informed that they don't taste the greatest, so pretty awesome to suck it back like she does!
Today was the first day I really noticed this taking a toll on our sweet girl. She was so out of it, very whiny, mood swings, and extreme irritablility. We tried giving her a bath, and she screamed the entire time, which is completely out of character for her, especially since bath time (any other time) is her most favourite time of day!! I hate seeing her this way, and I constantly have to remind myself that it's not her doing this.. its the meds kicking in doing their job. It's going to be a long few weeks until she's off her steroid, but once they are done, we will have our happy Hayden back and all will be somewhat right in the world again.
I went to get my flu shot tonight because we were informed that it's almost crucial that anyone around her have it. Jon's not too excited to get his done tomorrow.. he has a fear, like many do, of getting poked by a needle!!
Good news - we were told today that Hayden could go home as early as Wednesday!! She has to have a lumbar puncture done on wednesday, and if she doesn't have a fever between now and then she more then likely will get to go home.  I've been told that my mother in law went to town being the cleaning fairy at our house.. what an amazing woman! I'm even considering having a cleaning staff come in once every couple of weeks to wipe down the house. That might be the crazy, over protective, neurotic mother in me, but i'm not chancing ANYTHING when it comes to Hayden's health.  Between my mom, my sister, Jon's mom, and his sister, aunts and uncles, and cousins..we  have had the best company while staying at the hospital. Everyone is being so positive for this little girl. Thank you to everyone that has taken time out of their day to let us know they are continuing to pray for Miss H, and for the kindness and generosity that continues to shower us daily.
This one is a short one, but i'm gonna end it with a picture of our beautiful girl.  Enjoy :-)

Saturday, 11 January 2014

Our faith in humanity is restored.

So yesterday was kind of an off day for us. Jon and I met with our Nurse Practioner and she went over EVERYTHING with us. From how to read charts, to knowing blood counts, what phone numbers to call when we think we need help, and helping mommy calm down whenever I think about taking Hayden home without all of the doctors and nurses around (and apparently she tells me I don't have to bubble wrap her..I still might though :p). I'm having a daily panic attack that i'm going to not notice something when I should, or not watch her when she falls and hurts herself, or that i'm not going to brush her teeth well enough (one of the drugs she's going to be on apparently can cause mouth sores in some patients). Although i'm slightly crazy when I think about it.. I just want her to be home in her own element, with her own toys, and in her own bed.
Today she had another round of chemo, and again.. took it like the champ she is! We're told that this med she took in the future rounds can cause hives or rashes... seriously, nothing is simple when it comes to treatment!  Aunt Brenda sat with her and watched Bubble Guppies on the iPad for a good portion of the treatment, while Aunt Leah, Uncle Cody and myself went for lunch in the cafeteria. She didn't sleep very much today, but you couldn't tell by the amount of energy she had this evening when she had a dance party with mommy and aunt Brianne! She danced with her teddy bear around and round.. it was pretty darn cute!! If I could post videos of it you'd know exactly what I was talking about.
In a previous post, I mentioned a little boy named Joey that has the same type of Leukemia that Hayden has. He was in here because he spiked a fever while at home, and they needed to make sure it broke in order to resume treatments. Joey got to finally go home with his daddy today after what i'm sure seemed like forever!!! Before they left, him and his dad Scott stopped by to say goodbye. They told us if we ever need to talk about what's going on, or just to touch base that we could be in contact. He then handed me an envelope. Inside the envelope was a very generous gift to the 3 of us, and all he said to me was that everyone was so kind to him, and he never knew how to thank anyone for their kindness, so he was paying it forward. To that dear kind man.. You are one of the strongest people I've ever met. You have proven to your boys that you are their rock and always will be. Everyday you get up you're ready for whatever the day has in store for you, and for that you will always be our hero. Thank you for your kindness when we felt lost and confused. I'm sorry that our kids have to go through this, but it's comforting knowing that we can talk to you about our fears with this disease knowing that you likely had them at some point too.. and have conquered them.  Your boys are so lucky to have such an amazing role model to look up to. You have reminded us that there are kind people still out there, and we promise you that we also will pay it forward. #Joeystrong
Hayden is in her sweet dreams right now, and Aunt Brianne and I are watching Horrible Bosses! Here's wishing everyone a great weekend!
More tomorrow..

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Well it's only day 2 of Hayden's chemo treatment, but she's already showing us the amazing little trooper that she is.  She smiles non stop, is now being way more social with the nurses then she was before, is eating like a trooper, drinking as much as she can, and peeing like there is NO tomorrow. Seriously, they are pumping this girl FULL of IV so when we change her bum every 2 hours it's saturated and sometimes soaked out to her clothes. Luckily daddy brought us more pj's tonight!
So today we were told it would be our break day, but it unfortunately wasn't. She had to go have an "echograph" (not sure if I said that right), and an EKG done today. Both apparently looked good once they were finished. It took 3 tries to do the EKG. The first 2 techs that came to try failed miserably to win hayden's love and had to come back later.. what can we say... she knows what she wants just like all girls!! Turns out all it took was turning the wiggles on for a few minutes and it was done! Our tech Travis should give the other techs that [previously tried that tip for future cranky kids!!
This morning I had a brief meeting with our social worker. She is truly amazing. She informs us on all of the "benefits" Hayden will recieve and the assistance that will become available to Jon and I when it comes to parking, gas, and food vouchers. It's not huge, but it's definitely appreciated!!
I was informed that there are people out there that donate their cottages to the Canadian Cancer Society, so families can enjoy a mini summer vacation once their treatments are over.. pretty cool I thought!        
Oh wait, it gets better..
They told me that there is a day at canada's wonderland every year where kids who have had or have childhood cancer get a day away! They get a lot of free stuff, and they can line skip! Hayden's obviously too little to go there, but she will definitely reap the benefits when she's bigger!! Also, she can go to any of the kids camps that she would like when she's older!
And the coolest part of the meeting today..
Hayden is going to be granted a wish :-)
I'm supposed to be doing my research on which organization I'd like to have do it for her, and the only rule is that she must be 3 years old to have it granted. So we have a little wait, but that gives her lots of time to decide what she wants to do. I'm sure if she had her way she'd love to be a Bubble Guppie for a day :-) (for those of you that don't know what that is.. it's her favourite show on treehouse that she goes CRAZY for!!)
So besides all of that, nothing too crazy to report today. I did meet another gentleman who has a little boy going through the same thing Hayden is going through. He's such a handsome little guy with a smile that is going to for sure charm the ladies when he's older :-) I spoke with his daddy today and things have been going pretty good for him, all things considered! Go Joey Go!!! Fight this horrible disease, and kick it right square in the you know what!!!
On a side note.. why do they have to say the word "Cancer"? I hate that word.. it scares the living begeebees out of anyone that has it or knows someone that has it! I wish it was just known as Leukemia.. not that it makes it any better.. but definitely makes it seem less scary.
Hayden and I thank you all for taking time out of your day to read our blog. Once we get home I will post some pictures of our sweet girl so you can see the beautiful smile that we get to see everyday. I love my little girl more then I love my next breath.
Until tomorrow..

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

The start of our journey offically begins today..

So last night they removed Hayden's IV, which means that from this point on any thing that goes in her body will be done through the port a cath. She will still sometimes have to get blood taken from a needle.. but it will be very slim compared to what she has been having done.
This morning we woke up and went to meet with our doctors so they could let us know how her procedure went yesterday. After doing her lumbar puncture they could see that there was some leukemia cells hiding in her spinal and brain fluid. That only means that when they do the chemo treatment that have to check at the end to make sure those cells aren't there anymore to ensure they don't sneak up on us years from now in full force. And trust me, the last thing we need or want to do is go through this nightmare again.
So our doctor told us that today was the day we would be starting her chemotherapy treatment. My heart sunk, but I knew it was the inevitable and that this is the absolute only way she will get better. My heart breaks into millions of pieces every time I think about my little girl losing her gorgeous curly blonde hair. 
So after her nap this afternoon, our nurse came in and started her on her treatment. It took about 30 minutes for it to be done, and the little monkey sat on the bed and watched treehouse without even a flinch during it all. She also had to take an oral steroid that I got to give to her, and I believe will also be giving to her once we go home in a few weeks. I'm sure it doesn't taste very good, but she didn't fight me. I honestly believe she knows that she has to take it in order to get better. I've read a few other moms blogs about their children who went through this exact same situation, and they say the same thing. She might be a tiny little 22 month old, but this kid is incredibly smart.
So far we haven't noticed anything in regards to side effects, but its still pretty early in her treatment. Our doctor did go over a list of possible side effects, so we are for sure going to be watching her very clearly. She is going to be on a total of 5 different medications through out this journey.
We also got to go on a tour of the Ronald Mcdonald room that is here for parents and family only. Patients aren't allowed in, for obvious reasons. It's actually an incredible room. They have computers set up, a snack bar, a full kitchen that is stocked, 2 bedrooms that can be used to take naps in, a lounge to relax by a fire place and watch some tv, and laundry facilities that are stocked with detergent and fabric softener. As I said in my last post, this hospital is incredible. They have told us to consider them a part of our family, and we are doing just that.
 I can't wait to take her home, where she is happiest.. where her toys are.. where things maybe aren't so scary (for both her and us), and hopefully in 2 weeks we will be doing just that.
 But this little fighter is adapting extremely well to her surroundings, and continues to make all of us extremely proud.
 I'm still having a hard time understanding why this had to happen, but we have the most incredible friends and family that have continued to wow us every minute of the day. My heart broke a few days ago, but little by little they are all piecing it back together for me. We all love each and everyone of you that are reaching out to us in any way you possibly can. I'm not sure how we could ever repay you all for your sincere kindness and generosity, but I promise that one day we will.
Until tomorrow's adventure.. have the sweetest dreams possible (Hayden sure is right now!).

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Hayden is my hero.

(Tues) January 7th, 2014

Today was the day that Hayden had her "port a cath" put in and her lumbar puncture procedure done. For anyone that doesn't know what those are I will explain it the best way I possibly can. A port a cath is something that through a surgical procedure was placed in her upper right chest area and is going to be her life saver for the next while. Medicine/treatment can be given through this, and also she can have her blood taken from it to so she won't look like a used pin cushion anymore. With her being so little and her veins being so small it was difficult for the nurses to find veins, and sometimes even after the 3rd and 4th try it still wasn't happening. This port a cath will make sure she doesn't have to go through that torture anymore. It looks like a little bump under her skin, and its hardly noticable at all.
The lumbar puncture is a procedure where they go in at the base of the spine (I think the base anyways.. definintely in that area), and test the fluids around her spine and brain to make sure that the Leukemia cells aren't hiding there, and aren't able to attack later on once we stop treatment.  She also got a dose of chemo today too during the lumbar puncture.
The whole procedure took only an hour for both to be done, and daddy and I waited in the waiting room like nervous wrecks.  She was taken down at 2:30, surgery started at 3:10, we got word she was out at 4:10 and we finally got to go see her around 5:15.
I have to say, and will say over and over again.. This hospital is amazing. They have everything accesible to us (even this laptop that i'm writing this from). They have brought us a dvd player for hayden to watch movies.. free wifi.. parking passes.. food vouchers. You name it, chances are they will get it for us. A woman from Child Life even brought us bubbles for us to blow for her after finding out how much she loves them.
Our doctors and nurses are truly incredible. They are so patient with all of us, and are walking us through this bumpy road with all of the help they can possibly give.
We are taking this all one day at a time. Hayden has no idea what is going on, and is not in pain. And even though she would much rather be at home with her kitties and her toys, I think she knows she needs to be here in order to get better and win this crazy battle.
She fights with the nurses when they come to check her vitals or to take blood, she is as bright as the sun when she wakes up from her naps, and she has a smile that lets us all know she's going to be just fine.   And because of all this.. all the crap she has to deal with, all of the sleepless nights because of nurses checking her vitals every so often.. all of the procedures she has had to go through.. and all of the smiles she has given all of us after its all said and done, makes her my hero.
I'm not sure what tomorrow is going to bring, I think we talk to a nurse practioner about how to care for her once we are able to go home, and likely speak to the doctors again about her procedure from today.
Jon and I both want you all to know how unbelievably greatful we are for all of the love and support, the continuous prayers you keep sending out, for the offers to help us in anyway possible, for the gifts for hayden (blankets, minnie mouse dolls, care packages),  and for all of the extended support from people that haven't even met Hayden that have offered to take family pictures for us, knit hats for her, make stuffed animals and so on. 
To my sweet friend Mary-Ann who is designing hair clips in honour of sweet Miss H, and to my sweet and amazing sister in law who from miles away has taken it upon herself to design t-shirts for #goteamhayden , thank you for your time, love and support. Our family and friends have been our rocks. We know how much each and everyone of you love our sweet Hayden, and she knows it too. So it's one day at a time and one procedure after the next until our little girl gets better.  Don't worry though.. she's got this, she's gonna fight it like no other.
She's got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire, cause she is a champion and you're going to hear her roar :-)
Lindsay xo

P.S - I will update everyone as often as I possibly can with news on how she's doing through this blog site that my sister in law (Brianne xo) has set up for us. Please forgive me if my spelling and grammer are horrific at times. My brain is on over drive these days... luckily most of you should know me enough by now to figure out what i'm trying to say! Sweet dreams everyone :-) xo